Just a quick thought before I forget it. I was surfing the Internet for porn videos the other day. One variety that I do like to watch is pissing porn, mostly involving women pissing on other women. I'm not sure why this is interesting to me. Maybe its the taboo aspect. Maybe its the humiliation aspect of one person peeing on another, especially if one is pissing into the mouth of another or the other is forced to drink the piss of the first.

One video got me thinking. It started off with a man and two women, clothed, drinking and talking to each other in a living room. One woman and the man get up and go to the bathroom to, well, you guessed it, pee on each other, leaving the other woman alone. That's what got me thinking. The video just showed the other woman sitting with an expression on her face as if she were thinking "What's taking them so long?" My version of the video would have that woman pour out the contents of the other two's glasses, and then she'd piss in them. She'd sit back down when she heard the other two come back into the room. They'd all begin chatting and drinking again. The two would take a few sips and have that "this wasn't what I was drinking before" look on their face. They'd look at each other, realizing what the other woman had done. Then the real fun would begin! She'd be stripped and tied down. They'd have her drink her own pee and give her a good spanking. They'd pee on her, maybe bring in another couple to pee on her. (I need to think more about this....)

Two posts in one day! This one has to do with new interests, or developing current interests. Some of the blogs I follow are about sissys, others about female-led relationships, and some about spanking. I have a growing interest in all three combined. I like some of the aspects of the sissy lifestyle. Per Wikipedia, "In the BDSM practice of forced feminization, the male bottom undergoing cross-dressing may be called a sissy as a form of erotic humiliation, which may elicit guilt or sexual arousal, or possibly both, depending on the individual." I do consider myself a sub, at least in mind if not in practice. I'd love to be forced feminized and humiliated. I like some of the clothes associated with sissys - pinks, ruffles, girly things that teens might wear. I don't like the 'baby' or 'brat' aspects. (Just to clear up any confusion, my main interest and activity is still age-appropriate crossdressing.)

Female-led relationships. Again, I like the male submissive / Female dominant aspects. i like the idea of serving Her. And not just doing the traditional female household activities. The trick, i think, is in the attitude. She leads because She wants to, not because i want her to. i submit because i want to, and She enjoys it.

Spanking is another aspect of Female dominance. Spanking is such a cathartic activity for both parties. The spanker unleashes physical and mental dominance over the spankee. The spankee in turn endures and enjoys the physical and mental domination.

I can imagine a relationship like Maine subs or Ms. Marie's or Her's or Deirdre's.

Post-Trip Post

Over the last weekend I had a road trip to another state to visit family. Not wanting it to be a boring drive across the states I packed a few things to keep me entertained. First, I loaded my iPod with an audio book. I hadn't listened to audio books before, so I picked an old favorite (Dune) that I had read many times. Second, I picked out a nice outfit - women's khakis, a white blouse, white bra, black stockings & garter belt, pink panties, and a pair of black pumps with a square toe and heel. And third, I brought along a DVD and the latest issue of Leg Show. To avoid giving the neighbor's a show, I waited until I got to the first rest stop on the highway to change clothes.

Over the years one thing that crossdressing has shown me is that some folks are completely oblivious to their surroundings. The rest stop I stopped at is a large building that has restrooms, a snack shop, a Starbucks, and a few fast-food restaurants with a large dining area in the middle. There were few people there at that time. After I changed in the men's room at the rest stop I walked around the dining area to see which restaurants had women servers as women are more likely to notice a man wearing women's clothes. Indeed, as I walked past men & women going in and out of the building not one of them noticed. I went up to the Starbucks counter and I think one of the women there might have noticed, but if she did, she didn't really show it. I got my coffee, sat at a table near one of the entrances, and crossed one leg over another to show off the heels. Again, after waiting a while I don't think anyone noticed. As I left the building I made sure to walk in front of a car with two women in it. I pulled back my shoulders to push out the bra under the blouse, and again, I don't think they noticed.

Back in my car and on the road I thought I'd have some fun. I first unbuttoned my blouse to expose the bra. Many cars passed by, or I passed them, and no one really had taken a glance over or at least appeared to notice. Later I pulled the blouse down off my shoulders to down around my waist to really expose the bra, but again, no one really noticed. I did stop at a couple of adult bookstores along the way. Very grubby. I don't think I'll stop at them again. Not much selection in terms of magazines, DVDs, or toys. Most of the buildings' spaces were devoted to video booths in the back. And there were a few men loitering around for the sort of activity that I would not care for. The second store did have a booth with a live dancer for private shows. I figured this might be interesting so I entered the booth, closed the door, and put my 'tip' in the box. The curtain behind the glass opened to reveal a nice looking blonde in her mid-20's. She said for me to make myself comfortable, so I took off my blouse and pants. She loved the lingerie! I did a little spin for her to show off and she complemented me on my outfit. This, of course, made me hard, so I sat on the bench and pulled my cock out of my panties. She did a 15 minute show for me that ended on a happy note.

Near my relatives house I stopped to change back into my guy clothes. Not much to say about the visit other than I did have some me-time at night with the DVD and magazine. They only had dial-up access to the Internet, so I spent no time surfing. All-in-all it was a good trip.

Look for a new post(s) this weekend. I'm going on a road trip to visit relatives in another state and may have some time for some adventures!

I thought I'd have another short business trip in the next couple weeks, but there's been a change of plan. Instead of staying overnight at a hotel, I'll be driving back and forth each day. I was so looking forward to a couple of nights in a hotel. I had planned to buy some new panties for the trip, as well as a web cam for my laptop.

I imagined that after the conference each day that I'd go to my hotel room, shower, then set up the web cam. I'd let folks watch me get dressed in my new panties as well as my other girly clothes. I'd planned to go out shopping for a pair of heels and then to a coffee shop or some other place to wear them and show them off. Then I'd go back to the hotel room to show whoever's on the web cam my purchases and then have some fun. I'd surf for porn or bring some along to allow people to watch me masturbate. Perhaps I'd order room service, set up the cam to view the door, and then answer the door in lingerie when food is delivered. I'd love for others to see that I was only wearing lingerie and the reaction of the waitress.

Oh well, maybe next trip. Hope everyone has a great Halloween!

Video Chat?

I recently bought a new computer with a built-in camera. This is my first time having a cam and I'm wondering if there any good internet sites that are good for camming of the adult nature. I tried c/h/a/t r/o/u/l/e/t/t/e (slashes inserted to throw off the search engines) a couple times and I'm not impressed. Too many guys, too many minors, and the few girls that were there weren't too interested in chatting with men. I'm sure there's got to be a site somewhere that a guy or a crossdresser could go to that would have like-minded folks. Any suggestions?

Cocktoberfest

A big "Thank You!" to Shay over at the S-Spot: http://thesspot.org/2010/10/cocktoberfest-2010-day-6/

Ouch! I didn't realize that I haven't posted since mid-September. What's been going on?

Half-marathon. I ran the half-marathon in Philly back on 9/19. Not my fastest nor my slowest 13.1 miles. I felt good until about mile 12 when my calf muscles started cramping up. That slowed me down a bit until the cramps went away. Can't say that that was the reason for not PR'ing the race as I could have run a few seconds per mile faster in the previous miles. I'll get it right the next time.

Taking inventory. I've been mentally taking inventory of my porn stash. I have a box full of "Leg Show" magazines from about 1999-2008 or 2009. I haven't looked at them in many, many months, and I'm thinking of recycling them. I mean, with the ease of looking at photos and videos on-line, old magazines just aren't doing it for me. The days of no computer or slow connections are long gone, and laying on the couch or bed with a stack of magazines is losing its appeal. Some of them are in perfect condition, others not so perfect (and no, there are no sticky pages). I used to have a habit of rating the pictorials and writing it in the table of contents, so there are some that have these markings.

Then there's my CD clothing. I haven't bought much in the way of shoes, pants, or tops in a good while. Panties and bras, yes. The pants and tops that I do have are starting to look to me to be a bit stale. They still fit and look good, but some of the things are more than a few years old and I'm just getting tired of them. I need new jeans and a few tops to go with them. The black pants - I still love wearing them - they fit like a glove and are so very comfortable. But. Shopping for and wearing a new pair would be such fun.

Does anyone out there have a Wii and an Apple computer running OSX 10.6.4 with an internal Airport card? I'm trying to get my iMac to share its Ethernet connection to the router wirelessly through the Airport. All of the instructions I've read on the 'net have been for earlier versions of OSX and they don't seem to translate to the newer version.

I've had an interest in spanking for a few years now. At first I wanted to be on the receiving end. I imagined a woman catching me in my girl clothes and being angry with me. Older, younger, solo or a group of women, they all have their own titillation to me. She'd pull me down over her lap and start spanking. She'd then pull my pants down, make a big fuss over my now uncovered panties and stockings, and then continue the spanking, berating me the entire time. She'd switch to a paddle to really make me hurt. I'd beg for forgiveness and she'd have none of that. I've never had this done to me.

After watching a lot of spanking videos, I think I'd also like to be the spanker. Not that I want to cause pain to a woman, no Ma'am. The idea of a girl bent over my lap, me pulling up her skirt or pulling down her pants - yum! Her ass so close to me, my hands on her ass - yummy! To see her ass jiggle and hear her yelps after each hand swat - ohhh, so hot! And after a spanking, I 'd certainly want to make her feel better ;) And I'd never use a cane or anything that would leave welts - women's asses are just too beautiful and precious to inflict such injury.

I saw this over at Daily Runway. While the caption under the photo says "The Peekaboo Cardigan will look cute with leggings or a mini.", my mind thinks that just a pair of panties would be perfect, or even better, nothing at all. I mean, it would be a nice surprise to greeted by a woman wearing this sweater. From the front one would think "Oh, nice long sweater. She always says she needs one to keep warm." But then when she turns around I'd see her lower back (sexy) and those buttons that are just begging to be unbuttoned. I imagine sitting in a chair, unbuttoning them, and then seeing the beauty that is her bum. My hands would cup and feel her cheeks, then move around front to her hips to pull her into my face. I'd bury my face between her cheeks, kissing and licking. She could lower herself onto me and me into her without having to take it off. And when we're done, I'd just button it back up and she'd be on her way...

If only these panties weren't $150! And the bra! I suppose I could make my own using a pair of scissors.

Another new post! The inspiration for this one is blog cleaning. I'm going through the list of blogs I follow as well as the links along the side, trying to weed out those that no longer exist, those haven't had a new post in a year, those that no longer interest me, etc. It's an on-going process as I'm always following new blogs every day. I've noticed a few trends among the blogs I read:

Women's Fashion: I do like to see women dress well. It's great to see that many women blog about their personal clothing style as well as others that appreciate women's fashion. The bloggers that I link to have a style that I'd adopt if I crossdressed 24/7, and they're darn cute too!

Feet and legs (women's): One catagory of the things I fetishize and that lead to me crossdressing.

Panties and/or hosiery: The other fetishes that started it all for me. I love to see pictures and read posts about them across the spectrum from fashion to fetish to porn. And I'm always looking for ideas for something new to wear.

Crossdressers: Being a crossdress I do like to see what others are up to. There aren't too many blogs about the day-to-day life of being a CD. Most of the blogs are more about the sexual side of in which I'm also very interested. Although I don't think of myself as a 'passable' crossdresser, I'd love to have the opportunity to have a head-to-toe make-over just to see if there is a possibility. Of course, I'd probably be so sexually excited during the process I'd have to have some relief throughout the day...

Transsexuals: I have mixed thoughts on these blogs and sites. Most sites are not about the day-to-day life of a TV (I'm not sure I've seen any). Conversely, they are mostly pornographic. When I look at the sites, its like looking at a train wreck - you know its going to be gruesome, but you have to look anyway to see how bad it is. So I look at them to see if the models are really passable, or just a train wreck. There are a few TVs that are truly beautiful - very feminine body shape, face, expressions, voice, and they have a nice cock too. Its the others that make me think "Why did I look?!"

Sissies: I'm still figuring this one out. I'm attracted to the submissive traits sissies exhibit. I could not act like some of them do, and I don't particularly care for the style of dressing other than the cute pink frilly panties.

Photos & Videos (porn): Hey, we all need some material to get off on. My tastes tend to be all over the place, and I do enjoy fetishes, domination, and lesbians the most. I mostly like seeing real people having sex without a lot of "story".

Masturbation: I do enjoy reading about what men and women do and think about when they masturbate. It seems like the topic is one of those 'deep, dark secrets' that we all have. A few of the blogs deal with group sessions. I've never done that - it does sound interesting. I don't think I could do it with just one other person - it would have to be a group, hopefully males and females.

Dominant Women & Submissive men: i consider myself submissive and i'm very attracted to dominant Women. i love to read their blogs and see their pictures & videos. When I call my favorite phone sex line (here) i always ask for a girl that is dominant. (Side note: they do all kinds of calls, but the girls that work there are in the 18-22 year old age range. While i do like to talk to a young girl, some times i'd much rather talk to a Woman in their 40's, 50's, or even 60's. There's something very cathartic about phone sex that i love.) i also like reading about submissive men or seeing men submit to Women. How do they show their submission? What are other things that i can i do to show my submission?

I'm going through a bit of a dry spell lately. It seems like all I do is work, run, sleep, or the dumb things that go along with home ownership. Not much time to take care of my other physical needs (specifically many, many, many orgasms) or do much in the way of crossdressing. Sure, I think about both of those things much of the time. I just need to make time to do them. That's the one thing I like about traveling - it gives me the time after work to take care of myself. It doesn't look like I'll do any traveling until November, so I'll be super horned-up by then.

I did have a free hour over the weekend, and I used that time to get off. I took of all of my clothes, washed up a bit, and went looking for some porn. I was in the upstairs bedroom to look through my magazine collection, and I noticed that the college-aged girl and two of her friends that live across the street were home and sun bathing on the roof. That got my attention right away! The tree in my yard and the one it theirs was obscuring my view. I got out a pair of binoculars and watched them. The breeze coming through the window felt great on my body and I was soon at full erection.

I spent some time paging through the magazines and some time looking at them. As usual when I get all horned-up, I was in the talkative mood so I closed the window and called my favorite phone sex line. The girls there are very nice, have great voices, and really do a great job. The thing that annoys me is the amount of time they take between when they answer the phone and when they start the call - too long. I think they do it on purpose to tease me or calm me down. One of my favorites was working and I told her what I was doing. "Bad girl!" she said, knowing that I crossdress. She asked if I'd rather be out on the roof with them in a bikini than in my house with my cock in my hand. "Of course!" I exclaimed. I'd always wanted to wear a bikini in public. She asked why, and I said that there were many reasons. I love looking at women when they have so little on - its so easy to imagine them naked. I'd also love the humiliation of wearing the bikini - the girls would tease and laugh at me about the bottoms barely containing my bulge and that the top fits my chest well. They'd tug at it to see if there were tan lines.

That then led to a conversation about tan lines. I think they are very sexy. Sure, an all-over tan is nice to see, but the tan lines draw one's attention to the right places. I told her that many years ago I did wear a bikini to a tanning salon for just that reason. It was winter time and I went to the salon for something to do on the dark and cold nights. The first time I went I just wore my male swim suit. The girls there were college-aged and they seemed very friendly as they said they didn't get many guys there. Feeling naughty pervy, the next time I wore the bikini under my clothes. In the booth I took off my shoes and pants, and left my shirt unbuttoned. I heard one of the girl's outside and asked if they had a towel as there wasn't one in the booth. She knocked on the door to give me one, and I opened the door fully and she got an 'accidental' peek at the bikini under my open shirt. She took a good look and smiled/giggled when she gave me the towel. As I laid in the tanning bed I could hear her tell the other girls what she saw. Needless to say I was stroking myself to their voices. When I left I did leave my shirt mostly unbuttoned so they all could see the bikini top.

The phone sex girl asked if I went back and I said that I did a few times a month during that winter. Sadly, the placed closed by the next winter. She could tell that relating the story to her really got me excited. She asked if the girls were still on the roof and if I were stroking myself this entire time. Yes to both questions I said. She berated me as I didn't ask permission and for what I did at the salon. She had me spank my ass with a paddle while saying "Forgive me Mistress for my sins!" at each swat. She told me to tell her what I'd do if I were with the girls. I told her I'd like to kiss their feet and cum on their bellies. She laughed and laughed, saying that no sissy boy would be allowed to do such a thing. She had me swat myself more. She said that the girls would laugh at me if they saw me now and call me names (which I wish I could remember all the ones she said). She had me beg them to let me cum while she called me those names and laughed. Only when she thought I really meant it did she tell me to cum, and cum I did!! It was one of those body-shaking orgasms, the ones that leave you light-headed, cum-soaked and exhausted. I thanked her profusely while I laid on the floor spent. It took some time to recover and come out of that happy space of post-orgasm. Still feeling pery, I looked back out the window at the girls, rubbing my cum over my cock and balls to another, lesser orgasm.

A recent post over at JamieLin's blog got me thinking about life in high school and my first years out of college. She was lamenting (correct me if I'm misinterpreting, Jamie) her lonely years after a girlfriend had left her when she only had her hands and borrowed clothes to fulfill her needs. I had a similar problem in high school.

I was very much too timid to ask girls on dates, let alone hope to ever get the chance for any sexual interaction. In high school I was feeling down because most of my friends were dating and masturbating made me feel good. Many a weekend night was spent in my room 'studying' the porn collection I had. Some of it was my older brother's, some was what I bought (still can't believe all the porn I bought while underage!), and some was the Victoria's Secret catalogs that were still being sent to my sisters even though they were in college. This was the early '80's so no Internet or DVDs, and no VCR either.

My parents would occasionally be away for a night or sometimes overnight and that was my time for fun. As soon as they'd leave I'd strip down to nothing, take a shower, and then take out the porn. I'd spend hours looking through all of the magazines, catalogs, and single pages. I'd sort through them and arrange them with a common theme - all breasts, all legs, brunettes, blonds, lesbians, girls looking at the camera, feet, asses, all in similar poses - anything to make it interesting. I jerked off in every room in the house, on the tables, chairs, beds, the garage, the car in the garage, and after dark, on the back patio or in the woods next to our house. I'd occasionally take a pair of my sisters' panties or bikini bottoms and use them or wear them. I really liked how the bikini bottoms felt and fit. Their shoes didn't fit my feet, but my cock fit nicely into their heels. After a while I didn't mind so much not having a girlfriend or going on dates.

In college there just wasn't much opportunity for that kind of fun. Too many roommates in the dorms, too much school work to be done. Summer vacations were iffy as a sibling or two would be living at home.

After college I got a great job in another state and had my own apartment for many years. It was an oasis for masturbation. I'd come home from work, shower, eat some diner, and then have the rest of the night for fun. I always told people to call first before visiting just to make sure I was dressed and the place was clean. Although there were a few times that I was caught off-guard ("Yes, I wear shorts in the winter," or "I was just going to take a shower" were common excuses). I had a VCR and made many trips to the video rental store. I'm pretty sure the clerks there and at the book store knew that I was there for only one thing - porn.

The apartment complex had a pool, and, darn, my apartment didn't face it. However, I would always go out there to tan and swim. There were usually a few women or girls out too. I'd lay there "reading" while ogling them. Then back to the apartment for some fun time!

I was usually naked from the time I got home to the time I left for work the next day. It was around this time that I really started paying more attention to women wearing hosiery - in real life and in pictures. One time I found a pair of pantyhose in the laundry room. They were there when I put my laundry in the washer and after it came out of the dryer. No one was around so I took them. At first it was just nice to rub myself with them. The silky feel of the nylon felt soooo good! After a few times I thought I'd put them on just for kicks. Well, it was like a bolt of lightning hit me! I was so overcome with the electric sensation of the nylon on my feet, legs, and cock that I came without effort. From that moment on I was hooked. I started buying pantyhose from grocery stores, department stores, Victoria's Secret. I bought all the brands and styles that I could find, looking for the 'ultimate' nylon experience.

Now I'd come home from work, shower, eat, then slip into a pair of stockings or pantyhose for my fun time. After a while panties entered the picture. Then bras. Then shoes. My underwear drawer was half men's, half women's. Girlfriend? Who needed a girlfriend? I was having my own kind of fun! Then someone did find out. I usually just left my lingerie and magazines on my bed or dresser when I left for work. No need to clean up as it was just me in the apartment.

I was also ordering from the Victoria's Secret catalog, and the packages would arrive at the apartment complex's office. The women that worked their would always ask about them when I'd pick them up. "For my sister's birthday," or "For a friend," I'd say. Then one day they were all smiles and very talkative when I picked up a package. It wasn't until I arrived back in my apartment that I realized why they didn't ask who it was for, and why they did ask about what I liked in the catalogs.

During the day they had to enter my apartment to check on the air conditioning/heater and they left a note saying they did (apparently they were checking all the systems in everyone's apartments). Well, on the dining room table I had left a couple catalogs, a few magazines, and the previous night's outfit. Ooops! They never let on that they knew, and I never let on that I knew they knew. It was a lot of fun while it lasted.

Last day on the beach. There's some fine five-star bikini ass walking about! If only it were legal to 'take care of oneself' I'd be having one heck of a day...

Rainy day at the shore today, not much to do. Short white shirt-dresses on the waitresses at the pancake house - very see-through - nice panties on all!

Sitting on the beach reading and watching women walk by. Ran a 10 mile race on Sat on the beach - lots of bikinis!

Argh! It's been a very slow posting period for me. I'm still here, but on vacation. I'll try to post by SMS. For some reason I can't post picture messages from my cell phone.

New Blog, but I'm still here

I started a new blog over at Posterious.com. There's only one post there so far that links back to here, and an expanded "About Me" page. I'll still post here - I haven't given this blog up. Why the move? As you may have noticed on my profile page, there was a long list of other blogs that I am/was a Team Member of. It was/is a community of bloggers to mostly share porn. For some reason Blogger took all of the sites down. The organizers moved over to Posterious to continue on, and in order for me to remain part of the community I had to start an account over there.

So this has started me thinking. With two blogs I can make each one about their own subject. Not really sure what those subjects will be. Maybe this one more about cross dressing, fashion, and more 'vanilla' topics, and the other about more pervy subjects and pictures. But then what to do about all of the old posts on either subject? And what to do about the Followers and others like you that visit? Sure, lots of folks have moved from one blog site to another with few hic-ups. I'll have to think about it...

Test Post

Here's another test post.  This one by e-mail.

Just a quick note to let you know that I'm still here! I've been reading & commenting on your blogs, just not having time to post on mine.

And I'm craving panties. I really need to go shopping for some new panties, lots of them. And then I'll need to show them off - that's where the real fun begins ;)