Mistakes

Did you ever do something stupid and you still feel guilty about it? If you are like me, than this has happened more than once. Here's one instance: Back when I was in college, there was one year that I had two roommates and we lived at the top of the building at the end of the hall. One of them was the dumb jock, and the other was a French foreign exchange student. I rarely had the room to myself (and to have "me time", if you know what I mean, wink, wink, nudge, nudge). Either the jock was sitting around watching TV, or Frenchie had his French pals over to drink at all hours of the day or night.

One benefit of living in that room was that we had a great view of campus, and, in the late spring, of the girls that used to lay out to tan in the courtyard or on top of the parking garage across the street. One week, the jock borrowed a telescope from a friend of his and spent a lot of time looking at the girls. This particular day, the jock was gone for the day, and Frenchie was quietly studying, so I was able study in the room as well. Around noon, Frenchie got up and left. I didn't see him leave the room, and I figured he either went to lunch or to class. "Now's my chance to be a perv and look at the girls," I thought. So I locked the door, stripped down, and started looking and stroking. After about 20 minutes, I heard the door handle squeak, and then a knock at the door since it was locked. "Crap! Someone's spotted me!" I thought. I rushed to get dressed and put everything back in place.

Then I heard Frenchie's voice. "Hello! Hello!" he called from outside the door. I figured that if he didn't have his key and didn't hear me, he might think I had left the room while he was out. I stayed quiet a few minutes. He finally stopped knocking and left. I got back to business. About 5 minutes later, he was back knocking on the door, now with one of his pals. Crap, this bugger won’t go away. They went away after a minute. I put everything back into place and went back over to my desk to study. About 5 minutes later I heard keys jingling outside the door and in Frenchie walked wearing nothing but a towel and flip-flops! I then realized that he had gone to take a shower, not taking his keys because I was there. He had to go down to the dorms lobby to get a spare key! He was talking to his friend in French while I just ignored them studying. He then asked where I went and if I heard them knocking. I gave them the reaction like I didn’t know what they were talking about – that I had left and come back and didn’t hear any knockings. He said that his friend waited outside the door while he went for the key. I just feigned ignorance, packed up my books, and left for class.

I was so freaking embarrassed! That was about the lamest, most shallow thing I’d ever done, all just so I could get some cheap thrills and an orgasm (which I never got). I wasn’t sure what to do when I returned from class later that day. I figured we were roommates, not best friends. Maybe he would think I was playing a stupid American practical joke. Anyway, we never did speak about it after that, and we didn’t do much together either. We weren’t cold or unfriendly, just not buds. The last thing I remember about him was the day that he left. Finals were the day before, and I had been out drinking pretty late. I remember him getting up and finishing packing while I was hardly conscious in bed. He said “Good bye!” and then left.

To this day, I still feel like a knucklehead (or chucklehead) about the whole thing. I probably made a very poor impression on him not only about myself, but Americans in general. If that episode hadn’t happened, we might have been better friends. Who knows? We could still be friends to this day and I might have someone to see if I ever go to France, or vice versa (selfish reason). In any case, I was not the person that I should have been. I let myself down. That is the worst part about it.

OK, so now is your turn to tell me that.

My Cold

Just like many of you out there, I've a cold. It started out as a scratchy throat on Sunday. I thought I was getting better, especially after running 5 miles after work last night. Today is a different story. Not much sleep in the last three nights due to my sinuses draining, and that even more so all day today. Argh! Green tea and Kleenex have been my companions today. And my voice sounds like I'm going through puberty again.

Question for the masses: Does having sex or masturbating while you are sick seem to just suck the life out of you? It seems like it has that effect on me.

Running!

On Saturday I ran in my first race of the year. It was a 5-mile race and I did pretty well, just over 41 minutes. The temperature was in the mid-30's and I felt good while running. My time was pretty good for me based on past races, but not a personal best. I'm nowhere near fast enough to finish in the Top 3 overall or even in my 35-39 age group. I'm a middle-packer.

After the race I wondered how the results of this race compared to the results of all of the races I've run - 5K's, 10K's, 5-miles, and 10-miles. After compiling all the results, my fastest times are, as expected, in the 5K's, running at an average pace of just under 8 minutes per mile. The 10-miler's are next at around 8-1/4 minutes per mile. Surprising to me is that the 5-miler's are the slowest at about 8-1/2 minutes per mile. I think this may be due to the fact that I've run the 5-milers in the winter when I run mostly on the treadmill. The 10-milers are run in the early spring after training mostly outside.

To improve, I need to run more often at any distance. Currently, I've only had the time to run outside on either Saturday or Sunday on the weekends, and inside on the treadmill mostly just once a week during the week, at distances of 4-6 miles per run. Now that the days are getting longer, I'm going to try to run shorter distances (~3 miles) outside at least two additional days per week. Hopefully, this will improve my endurance in the 10-mile race in the spring.

Is there a tie-in to crossdressing? No, not specifically for me. In the Philly Marathon last year I did see a man run in what looked like a crocheted red dress, red spray-painted running shoes, and a big fuzzy red wig. I do like the running skirts that I've seen a few women wear at races. Very feminine and attractive! I do need to get new running shoes, though, and running in pink shoes just doesn't do it for me.

Icon

In my quest to find an icon, I'm going to choose one (for now) that pays homage to the person who inspired my name:

"Chocolate"

There, that's one simple word, three syllables. It conjures up warm and comfortable thoughts in my head and body. They say that chocolate is a comfort food for women. What about us guys? (Or maybe its the crossdresser in me that makes it my comfort food?) Anyway, I *love* chocolate. NOT milk chocolate. It has to be dark, bittersweet, velvety, and melt-in-your-mouth. Great chocolate is almost as great as great sex. Sex and chocolate - now there's a combination. I wonder if anyone makes a good dark chocolate body paint....

[Ok, now I'm imagining that episode of Seinfeld when George is combining pastrami and sex. He's in bed with a woman in the middle of things when he pokes his head out of the covers to reach for the pastrami sandwich and takes a bite. Argh! That just ruined my vision.]

Chocolate and beer - another great combination. Not just any beer. It has to be a porter, dark and velvety just like the chocolate.

My favorite chocolate is Trader Joe's Pound Plus 70% Dark Chocolate bar. I've tried a lot of different US and European brands and for me, TJ's combines high quality with low price. Lindt, Ghirardelli, Scharffen Berger are exceptional chocolatiers. Hershey's Special Dark will do if there's only that and milk chocolate to choose from. Snow Caps are always a treat when I go to the movies. And espresso beans covered in dark chocolate are a tasty combination.

Enough writting, now to eat some!!

The Weekend in Review

The weekend went pretty well, a compromise between what I wanted and what I thought she would want.

We left a bit late for the city as I was held up from leaving work as early as I planned and had to get gas and cash, and also some flowers for her. She also worked on Friday. We both returned home about the same time and still had to pack our things. We hurried and left, reaching the hotel with about 20 minutes to spare before our 7:45PM dinner reservations. So only a bit of heavy kissing and fondling before walking to the restaurant. Dinner was fun! The food was great as expected and it was fun to have friends along. Thankfully, they needed to get home afterwards. As she and I walked back, she wanted to go somewhere for a drink. I was able to persuade her that we should go to one of the hotel's bars so we wouldn't have to go back out into the cold. It seemed like forever for her to drink one glass of wine while we watched the Olympic's Opening Ceremonies.

We finally ended went back to the room. She changed into very nice satin pajamas. I said that I brought some things for the bath. At first she didn't want to, but after I picked her up and carried her to the bath, she agreed. We took a nice bath together using one of those fizzy bath bombs. Back to the bed and I gave her a nice massage with the cocoa body butter followed by an extremely satisfying fuck for both of us. Morning came with another great fuck before we got out of bed. Side note: I love to have sex first thing in the morning in bed, but nothing is worse than morning breath and having to get out of bed to brush our teeth first. I'd rather stay in bed. Anyway, we showered, got some Starbucks, then headed home for the party. I wanted to stay later, but they moved the party up to 10AM because of the impending snow storm. Argh!

All in all, we had a great weekend. Another side note: I tried Trojan's spiral tipped condoms as they were given a good review. I can't say that I felt anything remarkably different than other condoms I've used, but they did their job.

This Weekend

It seems like no matter how much I try to plan "the perfect weekend" for her and I to spend away together, something always gets in the way. Like this weekend. I used my hotel points to get a free night at a great hotel in center city. We made dinner reservations at a restaurant that we both really enjoy. But.... she invited another couple to dinner .... and ... she accepted a party invitation for Saturday at noon.

So, this is what's going to happen: we'll get to the hotel at a decent time and she'll want to immediately go out for a drink. Me, I would rather rip her clothes off and give her a good tumble in the bed. "Later" she'll say. We'll go to a bar for a drink before our reservations. The other couple will meet us for dinner, we'll eat a great meal ... and then she'll say "Let's all go to another place for drinks." And I'll be thinking "I'm a horny as horny can be, why can't they go home? They live an hour away. Go home!" We'll go to another place for drinks. They will finally leave and we'll go back to the hotel probably around midnight. I would like us to take a nice long bath together, followed by me giving her a massage with some cocoa lotion, then a hot, long fuck. She'll probably say she's getting tired and we need to get up in the morning, so it will be the usual fuck without the bath. (Ok, I'm a clean freak. I'm horniest when freshly bathed.)

In the morning, I'd like us to do the same - a hot shower together followed by more naked fun. She will probably want to shower, us go somewhere for breakfast, then check out.

Recent Purchases

Friday I had a chance to go shopping for a short time. A local department store is going out of business (it was bought by another) and they are having some really good sales. I looked through the bras and panties to find a nice set or two, but no luck in my size. I just bought a couple of pairs of Hanes Silk Reflections Silky Sheer stockings, one in Jet black another in Travel Buff. I need to go back and stock up on pantyhose and panties. The Hue brand of pantyhose is my favorite for a department store brand. They are well made and feel very sensual. For bras & panties, I like Barely There which are also well made and look great. Jockey's are fine as well. I could also go for a new waist cincher. Victoria's Secret is, well, I could go on and on about how I love their stuff!

Garter belts are few and far between at stores any more. Usually they are the frilly 'eye candy' types that look good with a bra & panty set for the bed room, but are not built to wear all day under clothes comfortably. There are several internet stores that sell better garter belts for everyday wear. I think more women would wear stockings & garters if they sold more of them at department stores. Victoria's Secret could make them sexy and stylish again if they spent some time on them instead of the frilly ones.

Even the selection of stockings is thin at department stores. Hanes has one style and they are the only one's I've found. I haven't been able to find silk, 100% nylon, or rht's in the various heel styles at department stores. VS carried silk stockings a few years ago. I bought a pair on sale and I am so glad I did! If you've never worn real silk stockings, I recommend that you do sometime. The tactile feeling can't be imitated.

I Need an Icon

And I want your help! Most bloggers have an icon in their profiles. I'd like to have one and I need either some suggested icons or some ideas for one. So, if you have a recommendation, either post it in the comments section or e-mail it to me. I know there are a lot of very creative people out there.

My Love/Hate Relationship with Traveling

Do you do much traveling for either business or pleasure? Almost all of my traveling is for business. Last year I spent 16 days on the road, 8 in 2004, 4 in 2003, 37 in 2002, and 139 in 2001, so it comes and goes. Most of my traveling has been in the US. This year will probably exceed last year. I have a love/hate relationship with traveling.

Loves:
1. I like to go to new places, see new things, experience life in other cultures. I've been to places I would not have ever thought about going otherwise or taken the time to do so.
2. Beer hunting - finding new brewpubs and tasting regional beers.
3. I like traveling by plane. Sure, there are inconveniences (e.g., long lines at the airport, delayed flights, bothersome passengers), but its a pretty cool way to travel.
4. Eating regional cuisine in its indigenous location. I mean, I could order some bar-b-q sauce from places in Texas and cook with it at home (e.g., Rudy's and Stub's), but there's nothing like eating it at the restaurant itself along with a regional microbrew.
5. Its an opportunity to crossdress more so than at home. I bring some clothes with me and also go shopping while I'm there for new women's clothes. After work, I can go out complelety dressed in women's clothes and not have to worry about running into someone I know. I can be a little more daring in showing off my clothes - dangling a shoe shows off my stockinged foot, wearing clothes that are much more feminine in the details.
6. I can masturbate freely without being interrupted for as long as I want! And believe me, I can edge for hours. Sure, it sounds like a complete waste of time, but its one way to relieve all the pent up stress. More times than I can remember I've checked into the hotel, showered, put on some nice lingerie, got out a few issues of Leg Show that I brought along, connected to the web to surf for porn, and stroked for 3-6 hours. I'd take breaks for ordering room service and bio breaks. I'd be pretty much exhausted by the end.
7. Filling up my passport with stamps.

Hates:
1. I don't sleep very well in hotels - the beds aren't comfy, the temperature controls aren't great, noisy people in the hall.
2. I hate eating by myself in restaurants and room service usually isn't that good. If I can I'll eat at the bar of a restaurant and talk to the bartender.
3. Experiencing all of these new places and not having anyone to share them with while doing so. Sure, I could take pictures and buy postcards to tell the folks at home all about it. Its a lot more fun traveling with others and being able to talk to someone who's shared the experience.
4. Jet lag on the longer trips.